What's Everyone's Weakness?

Why is it that I'm most inspired to write whenever I'm a little blue?

This isn't always true, but it's never false either. Is it a human condition, or is it a characteristic of self? For long, I've prided myself on being genuinely happy and joyous the majority of the time, and so perhaps it’s this optimistic outlook of mine that contrasts with the few times I can't keep up with it, and results in distress. That's one of my weaknesses. But perhaps even weaker is the cause of it.

Friends are seen publicly, but things between friends are private. For that reason, I strive not to blame my few blue moods on my friends, or something that's occurred with or amongst my friends. I'd be the worst kind of frustrated person possible - the kind that does not appreciate love, tenderness, the company of friends. But what is one to do when the cause is inevitably that?

I hold it a constant that I was conceivably bullied often in elementary school, but I try to not say it much for fear of placing myself in the position of a victim. It's not like I was ever in a fight; I was simply subject to what I now hope were the insecurities of the bullies that acted against me. After all, aren't we told that he (or she) who does wrong against others is only doing so because of his or her insecurities? But then, when our own friends - people we trust to be infallible supporting agents of our integrity and composure - conspicuously cause us distress, what are we to do? If we dismiss their verbal attacks as byproducts of their insecurities, are we correctly addressing shortcomings in our friends, or are we rebelling childishly against people that are simply trying to help us? Are we ignoring words of bullies - words we shouldn't heed anyway - or are we being bullies to our own friends by rejecting their unbelievably invaluable help?

In other words - how do we know who's right? When a friend criticizes one of your weaknesses, should you disregard it or understand that you're a lesser person that should heed their words of wisdom? Who's the one with the weakness? Who is the wise sensei, and who is the unintelligent pupil? Are both of us - we and our friends - all souls looking to come full circle in their lives, finding strength in criticizing other’s weaknesses and in the process ignoring our own, only to be treated the same way by yet another soul in the same state? Are some of us strong, and others weak? Are we all just kids disrespectful of both others’ and our weaknesses? Or are we all terribly in need of counseling? Are we all just being mean to each other? Are we misbehaving? Can't we all just get along?!

Next time your own friends are causing you frustration - forget about it, and instead of dwelling on who's right and who's not (like I'm doing) be the noble knight and give them a hug. And if they don't want it - if your eccentric female friend kicks you upon your attempt, for example - 
certainly don't give them your money when they start reminding you about all the money you owe them. 

Just hold on. And eat a mayo bagel!

What's Everyone's Weakness?

Trying to Review a TI-83+

This video is outtakes from the first episode in a series of technology and product reviews, that'll be published on my Tom's PC Forge page, the same page for my computer repair business. Enjoy!

Trying to Review a TI-83+

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Hiya! Pop your question! http://formspring.me/Kyalami321

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Free Writing about Nell

Hello, world! I've got lots to tell ya about that I haven't been able to jot down my narrative of - mainly the "completion" of my autobiography and the JAMA that's been going on regarding the documentary - but tonight I'm killing two birds with one stone by telling you my concisely convoluted thoughts on a film I recently saw and enjoyed very much, in Psychology class just last week. I might add, Psychology is divided into two semester courses, and I am now beginning Psychology 2.

 And if Psychology 2 is a days-long movie, and this film is the intro, then boy is this going to be worth the popcorn.

“Nell” is a 1994 drama film starring Jodie Foster, Natasha Richardson, and Liam Neeson. The subject of the film is a young girl whose mother has recently died. Her mother was paralyzed on one side of her face, which caused her speech to become distorted, and as she was the one to bring up Nell, Nell took after her mother's broken English and made it her own language. Dr. Lovell is a bothered soul looking for respite and reconstruction from the big city and from his recent divorce (respectively) in a small suburban town on the outskirts of which Nell lives in isolation from the rest of the world - in a wooden cabin in the middle of the woods, with a beautiful lake that Nell swims in at night. Dr. Lovell, a family doctor, eventually discovers Nell's situation and is ultimately fascinated by it, and by her.

I'm not going to tell the tale of the movie ... instead, only those parts and tidbits necessary to explain my reflections. The movie is truly beautiful, and reading a concise summary on a blog won't allow you to appreciate it.

Dr. Lovell is a man not in the prime of his life. Yes, he's middle-aged, but I mean in the sense that he's not very emotionally apt when we first meet him in the movie. He's come to this small suburban town, complete with a local sheriff, to seek refuge and hopefully placid self-reconciliation ... which in a sense occurs through Nell. You see, when he appears in the film, Dr. Lovell has recently had a divorce ... so when he finds Nell and begins to understand her, he sees how she lives far way from everyone, with no real connection to anyone but the faint memories of her deceased twin sister - and doesn't mind. Putting her speech and learning problems aside, Dr. Lovell finds in Nell what he wants to be, in a sense - an independent, free-spirited soul with no need for anyone else.

That's not what he ends up being though, because as his appreciation for Nell grows, he develops an affinity to her. Not a romantic one, of course - that instead occurs with the co-worker he soon gets on the project: Dr. Paula Olsen. She is a psychologist whom at first wants to take Nell into a laboratory for testing ... but gradually begins to understand her, through Dr. Lovell in a sense. They both develop a parental endearment to her ... camping out on a “big-business-provided” boat that Paula is given for three months, to carry out observations of Nell.

And what I find in Nell is, besides an interesting, well-constructed character whose feelings and emotions surface well above her impairments ... is a soul very much in touch with the world. Throughout the movie, her appreciation for the most beautiful things in human nature - "dancing in the wind", swimming in the lake, love, friendship - she's very much unlike everyone else.

In other words, ignoring her obvious physical differences to everyone else in the movie due to her condition, she's very unlike everyone else in that she doesn't understand the concept of a routine, she doesn't understand the concept of a nine to five job, of big buildings - of bad people. She lives in a fantasy world of sorts ...

and frankly sometimes I think living in that kind of fantasy world wouldn’t hurt one bit.

Free Writing about Nell